What monsters are made of
by Ninjalinda
Summary: Has Arry and Bert always been like they are now? Or were they young and innocent once? Everyone has a past... some darker than others. Some very dark...
1. Prelude

Authors note: I don't own any of the characters, they all belong to Mattel and/or Awdry. And please excuse my poor english, I'm norwegian and didn't pay too much attention in my english class...

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What Monsters Are Made Of

Prelude  
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-Sodor, 2003-

«I'm so hungry, Arry…» the teenager mumbled, halfway in his sleep already. The hunger gnawing inside him, but he was too exhausted, he would fall asleep anyway.

Arry didn't answer. He no longer knew what to say. He couldn't say that it would get better, because so far it had only gotten worse by each day. He was about to lose hope. He felt the hunger too. It was no longer those stinging pangs of hunger like the first days. After a few days the pain went away, leaving them numb, but then it returned with vengeance. Now a grinding, constant pain.

Dumpster diving hadn't given any results today, and they had ended up trying to eat leaves and grass in a desperate attempt to stall the hunger for a while.

He looked down at his twin brother, lying on the ground, now asleep. Bert was a miserable sight, and he probably didn't look any better himself. He traced his brother's skinny, bony frame. His worn, thin clothes barely providing any warmth. They were both dirty and in desperate need of a bath. And shelter… and food… and a friendly smile… a hug…

Arry stared out from their hide out underneath the bridge, into the rain. His eyes being dull and lifeless. The eyes of someone who had lost hope. There was no point in fighting anymore. They would always lose no matter how hard they tried. They would never get out of the gutter. Life would never get any better. And soon it would be winter… and even harder to find food and warmth.

The youngster laid down, close to his twin so they could share body warmth, trying to survive another night. Though he no longer saw any point in surviving.

«I'm so sorry, Bert.» he mumbled, though his brother couldn't hear him in his sleep. «This is all my fault… I'm sorry I wasn't a better brother… Forgive me…»

-  
To be continued… 


	2. Doorsteps of Destiny

Authors note: I don't own any of the characters, they all belong to Mattel and/or Awdry. And please excuse my poor english, I'm norwegian and didn't pay too much attention in my english class...

-  
What Monsters Are Made Of

Doorsteps of destiny  
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-Sodor, 1985-

Inez White's heart sunk as she spotted the cardboard box left at the orphanage doorsteps. She could already see that it wasn't charity donations or food left by their patrons. Tiny, chubby arms were waving uncoordinated around, accompanied by noises that reminded her more of a creaky door than a baby's cry. This was a very young child… maybe just a day or two… It took a while before they cried properly and sounded less dry.

"You poor, little thing…" she whispered as she approached, peeking into the box, to her surprise seeing two babies, side by side. The other baby was much calmer than the other, just staring up with wonder in its still half-blind eyes. Inez knew babies couldn't see far, so she leaned down, close enough for them to see her face.

"Who left you here, lil' ones?" she said softly as she picked the box up, carrying it inside to warmth and safety.

Another of the orphanage's caretakers met her as soon as she came into the hall.

"Oh…" the other woman whispered as she looked at the contents of Inez' box. "Take them to the nursery so we can have a closer look and care for them."

"Thank you, Ms. Harris." Inez said, bringing the box to the nursery.

Gently, she placed the box on the nursing table, picking out one of them to have a closer look. The baby waved its arms in protest, then its face contorted as it screamed at the top of its lungs. Due to the young age, it wasn't very loud.

"Aww… shh… it's ok. I just want to have a look at you." she said low and calm.

She could already tell that the babies needed a change, their diapers were more than full, its contents staining both their clothes and the blanket in the box.

Ms. Harris came in to help her, picking up the other baby. They both bit their lips in sympathy with the babies as they removed their clothes and diapers, seeing the red, irritated skin caused by wearing dirty diapers too long. They also found the two to be boys.

"Poor little guys…" Ms. Harris muttered at the sight of the sore skin. "We need to give them a bath, but it will hurt."

"It has to be done, or they might get an infection." Inez agreed, filling the little tub with lukewarm water. Not too warm, not too cold.

The boys cried loudly as they were lowered into the water, but calmed down as soon as the nurses soft hands washed their tiny bodies carefully, then gently patting them dry with a soft towel.  
Soon, they had gotten fresh diapers, clean clothes and a bottle of formula.

"You think they are twins?" Inez wondered. "They do look quite alike."

"Honestly, all babies look alike to me…" Ms. Harris chuckled. "But you might be right, they seem to be of same age… and…"

Her eyes fell on an envelope, tucked into the dirty blanket in the box. She picked it out. It was a letter, and as she read the lines, her heart sank.

'_Please take care of my sons. I can't. Their father is a drug lord and violent maniac, I tried to protect them, but he wants to kill both me and them._

_Their names are Arry and Bert. They look alike, but trust me, they are not. Only by looks. Bert is the one with the nevus on his thigh._

_I see no other solution than taking them away from the mainland and leave them at an orphanage. It's too dangerous to keep them with me. He will find me… By the time you read this, I might already be dead. _

_Enclosed is their birth certificate, but I beg you, whoever you are: give them my maiden name, Doncaster. Then they have at least something to remind them of their mother. When they are old enough, tell them about me. Tell them I had no choice, even if they mean the world to me._

_I am so sorry, my lovely boys! Mom loves you so much!'_

Ms. Harris handed the letter to Inez to read. Inez' eyes filled with tears as she looked from the letter over to the twins, two innocent lives with a rough start.

"Don't worry, lil' ones. You're safe now." she whispered, stroking their chubby, baby cheeks with her finger. One of them grabbed her finger and held it with surprising strength. She smiled through tears. She already knew these two would earn a special place in her heart.

"Arry and Bert…" she said low, watching them close their eyes, falling asleep, warm, clean and fed. Side by side.

To be continued…


	3. Childhood

Authors note: I don't own any of the characters, they all belong to Mattel and/or Awdry. And please excuse my poor english, I'm norwegian and didn't pay too much attention in my english class...

-  
What Monsters Are Made Of

Childhood  
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-Sodor, 1993-

A lanky, red-haired boy came running down the stairs from the second floor, eager to find his friends and tell them what he had seen through the window.

"Arry! Bert!" he yelled as he ran into the playroom, where the kids were peacefully playing with the few toys the orphanage had.

The twins were playing with a wooden toy train set, having fun shunting trucks and pulling trains.

Bert put a red steam engine into the shed.

"This guy has been naughty! He is grounded!" he declared, closing the shed doors. Then he grabbed a black, boxy engine, driving it along while making rattling noises.

"Express coming through!" Arry shouted, pushing a big, blue engine along the tracks, a long line of passenger coaches being pulled along.

"Arry! Bert!" the red-haired boy stopped next to them, making them both look up from their play.

"Hi, Max." Arry said, looking up at him, still holding the blue engine in his hand.

"Wanna play with us?" Bert offered, holding a tiny, green engine towards him.

"Not now… I have something to show you!" Max beamed, motioning for them to follow him.

The twins were a little reluctant to leave the train set, it wasn't often they were able to play with it as other kids also wanted to have their turn. But eventually they stood up, leaving the toys behind.

"The apples are ripe!" Max said with glee as he led them out into the garden. "Let's pick some!"

"We're not allowed…" Bert protested. "Not unless they tell us to…"

"Oh, come on! Are you a sissy, or what?!" Max taunted, nudging him.

"I'm not!" Bert pouted.

"Come on, guys! This is delicious!" Arry was already half-way up the tree, sitting on a branch while eating a apple he had picked.

Max and Bert were about to climb up after him when they noticed someone looking at them.

"Ahem!" Inez was standing with her arms crossed, looking sternly at the three boys.

Arry slid down from the tree, quietly standing together with the other two, all of them keeping their eyes downcast in shame.

"Sorry, Mama Inez…" they said in unison, cheeks burning in shame over what they had done.

Inez had a soft smile on her lips when she knelt in front of them, catching their stares.

"The apples are for everyone to share, you know that." She said firmly. "But that's not why I am a little upset with you three…"

She pointed down at their feet. All of them had forgotten to put on shoes, and now their socks were dirty.

"You tree go inside, wash your feet and put on clean socks." She continued with a smile. "I will pick the apples, and you can meet me in the kitchen afterwards. We'll make apple pie, so we can have a little treat after dinner today. I'm sure the other kids would love that too. But don't tell anyone, it's a surprise!"

"Yes!" the three boys beamed as they ran back to the main building. "Thank you, Mama Inez!"

Inez chuckled as she watched them eagerly run back inside. Then she grabbed a basket and started harvesting the apples.

Arry, Bert, Max and a little girl named Melissa had gathered in the kitchen, looking at the apples Inez put on the counter with big eyes. Their eyes glittering with anticipation.

"Wash your hands, kids. We need to be clean when we cook." Inez smiled, leading them to the sink.

Bert found a stool, climbing up to reach the sink, not being tall enough. Only Max was tall enough to reach it without standing on something.

"Can I hold your hand, Arry? I am afraid to fall." Melissa begged, taking Arry's hand. The older boys were heroes in her eyes, and the small girls was always extra giggly around them.

Arry pulled his hand away, like he had been burned. But it was too late, Max had already seen it.

"Eww! Arry has girl cooties!" the red-haired boy laughed, moving away from him.

"I don't!" Arry protested, cheeks red in humiliation.

"I don't have cooties!" Melissa cried, tears filling her eyes.

Inez put a hand on their shoulders, smiling to them.

"There is no such thing as cooties, kids. You know that. But… there is apple slices sprinkled with sugar and cinnamon." She said softly, making the kids calm down before the argument escalated.

They all got a slice to snack on while Inez made the pastry, all four sitting under the table eating the apple slice with a blissful expression. Treats like these were rare, so they tried to make it last as long as possible by taking tiny nibbles and chew slowly.

Melissa leaned on Arry, causing him to blush and inch away, much to Bert's amusement. Arry had been Melissa's big hero ever since he had given her a blue crayon he had found outside. She had been crying and he had wanted to cheer her up by giving the crayon to her. But he really regretted it now, as the little, blonde girl had followed him around whenever she could since that.

"I can't wait for dinner!" Max declared, smiling wide. "We hardly ever have dessert!"

Inez chuckled as she worked, listening to the kids chatting under the table. The other nurses thought the kids were a bother, and didn't want them around while cooking, but she thought otherwise. She loved seeing the curiosity and enthusiasm the children displayed when they were allowed to help out. And maybe they learned a thing or two they could use when they grew up.

She leaned down, peeking under the table, meeting four pairs of vivid eyes staring back at her.

"Who wants to help me? The pastry is ready, but I need someone to roll the slices in the sugar mix. And someone to put them on the pastry. Maybe, if anyone of you dare, put it into the oven…" she smiled as she saw them exchanged worried glances. They had respect for the warm oven, that was good. "And someone definitely need to help me do the dishes."

"I'll roll the apples!" Melissa shouted, crawling out from their hideout.

"I'll do the dishes!" Arry offered.

"I'll do the pastry thingy!" Bert crawled out too, pushing the stool over to the counter, climbing up.

"I will do… whatever is left." Max muttered but smiled as he joined the other kids.

Inez gave them all an affectionate look as she showed them what to do. The kids at the orphanage held a special place in her heart, she had never had kids of her own. But working at the orphanage made her feel like a mother anyway. And it always warmed her heart when one of the little ones called her "mama".

"I love you, guys." She said and gave Bert a kiss on top of his head, chuckling as she saw him grimace and wipe it off. He was in the age when it was embarrassing to receive hugs and kisses, even if he liked it.

"Let's get started, kids. Let's make a surprise for the others!"

And soon small hands were busy helping her out, eager to please. The kitchen was soon filled with the sweet scent of warm apple pies.

Inez smiled; this was the smell of her own childhood. Maybe these four would remember this smell and think back at their childhood and her with a smile when they were adults?

She hoped so. She hoped someone would remember her with love when she was gone.

These were her children, even if they weren't biologically hers. And she would protect them with her life if necessary.

They were her children by heart.

She looked at them again and felt blessed.

-  
To be continued…


	4. Childhood Memories

Authors note: I don't own any of the characters, they all belong to Mattel and/or Awdry. And please excuse my poor english, I'm norwegian and didn't pay too much attention in my english class...

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What Monsters Are Made Of

Childhood Memories  
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-Sodor, 1995-

"Guys! Wait for me!" Max shouted, running down the road.

Arry and Bert stopped and turned, waiting for the other boy to catch up. The boys at the orphanage were sent to public school, so they walked together from the orphanage to the school further down the road. The older ones looked after the younger ones, even it was just a few hundred meters.

"Took you long enough…" Bert muttered as the ginger boy came up beside them.

"Sorry… I had uhh… chores to do." Max blushed and for a second his eyes clouded over, but the twins didn't notice as they had started walking again.

"Chores before school? That's a new one…" Arry shrugged. He knew that there were no chores in the morning as the staff wanted the kids to be focused on going to school instead of doing oddjobs.

"Eh… Mrs. Billington needed me to do some stuff for her. Nothing big." Max shrugged, looking away for a second.

"Race you to the gates!" Bert shouted, interrupting the talk, and started running as fast as he could.

It took the two others a second to wrap their mind on what was happening, but then they both exploded into an intense run, trying to catch up with Bert who was far ahead.

At the end of the day, the three boys were walking home, happy and upbeat by the day's lessons.

"Today was really interesting!" Max jumped over a puddle of water after last night's rain.

"I never really thought I would ever catch an interest in maths!" Bert chuckled.

"Me neither…" Arry smiled. "Mrs. Hastings really knows how to make her lessons interesting."

"Maybe we should show her how much we appreciate her? Give her flowers or something?" Max suggested, glancing sideways at the other two.

"Good idea. Mama Inez has taught us to be kind and show our thanks." Bert agreed.

"We could pick some on our way to school tomorrow. There is a patch of wildflowers by the fountain." Arry said.

"Let's do that!" Max and Bert nodded.

They balanced on the curbstones the rest of the way.

"Maxwell! Come to my office when you have unpacked your schoolbag!" a lady called from the door, waving at the trio as they entered the orphanage yard.

The voice made Max cover for a moment, but then he regained his composure and put on his normal face, waving back.

"I'll be right there, Mrs. Billington!" he called, then he turned to the twins. "I gotta go. See you guys later at dinner, ok?"

"We'll hold a seat for you." Arry said.

Max never showed up for dinner, leaving the twins wondering where he was.

"Melissa? Have you seen Max?" Arry asked as the little, blonde girl walked past their table.

"No… But I heard someone mention he was ill and had to stay in his room." She said, letting her eyes linger at Arry, making him blush in discomfort and look away.

Bert nudged him as Melissa left. "So… you two…?"

"Hell, no!" Arry protested.

"You're blushing, you know… I bet you want to kiss her!" Bert teased, only to feel something wet on his crotch moments after. Arry had poured an entire cup of water on his pants. "Arry, what the fu…"

"Mama Inez!" Arry called out loud enough for everyone to hear. "Bert has wet himself!"

"I have not! You…!" Bert threw himself at him, trying to claw his eyes out.

"No fighting around the dinner table, boys!" Mama Inez scolded as she came over and separated them. Then she grabbed Bert by the hand. "Come, let's get you changed into dry clothes."

The other kids giggled as they looked at Bert's pants, thinking he had actually peed himself. Arry smirked as Bert gave him a death glare on his way out.

Bert sulked as he and Inez went up to the room he shared with Arry. He found some clean, dry pants and put them on then went back out to Inez. She smiled and ruffled his hair. Just then another nurse called her name.

"Okay, Bert. You can go back down to dinner, I have to go help Mrs. Harrison." She said, kissing his forehead before walking down the hall.

Bert was glad nobody had seen that, he was too old for such affection now, at least in his own mind, even if it felt good to be cared for.

He stopped as he heard sobbing from the room he was just about to pass. He pushed the door open a bit, spotting Max on the bed with his face buried in the pillow.

"Max?" he called out low. "Are you okay? I heard you were ill?"

"Go away, Bert." The ginger haired boy sobbed into the pillow.

"I just… wanted to…"

"GO AWAY!" Max shrieked, throwing the pillow at him, making Bert flee the room.

He rubbed his neck as he went back to the dining hall, wondering what was going on with his bestfriend. He had never seen Max this upset.

The other kids was still giggling and making comments on him wetting himself as he sat down next to Arry to finish his meal, not even looking at Arry.

"I fucking hate you, bro." he hissed, grabbing his fork, stabbing a carrot like he wanted to murder the poor vegetable.

"I love you too." Arry chuckled, giving him a nudge.

Bert couldn't help but smile, even if he was still a bit angry about the wet pants. He would get back at him later.

-  
To be continued…


End file.
